It's been longer than I'd like since I've written a blog post, and I feel like that is reflective of everything that's been going on, both in a good and a not so good way. (Dialectics, anyone?)
Quick breakdown of everything that's happened since I last wrote:
-I started a dream job doing community health research
-I graduated with my Master's in Public Health
-I turned 24
-My first book, A Girl Called Shame was published
To say it's been a whirlwind would be a complete understatement. It's been a complete up and down, and while I'm so grateful, it's also been very challenging.
About 5 weeks ago, I had something pretty terrible happen to me.
I won't go into any details, but it left me reeling in a way that I hadn't experienced before. Words like "trauma", "acute stress reaction", "dissociation" have been thrown around and to be honest, it's one of the hardest places I've found myself in, in a long time. Here's the thing about surviving trauma and the aftermath: it doesn't just impact one part of your life, it affects all of it. My mood has tanked, my anxiety has been extremely high, and in the wake of this, I've become a little indifferent about my eating disorder recovery. And that's terrifying. There's nothing I want more than my recovery, and at the same time, these feelings have left me so drained that doing the right thing (following my meal plan and nourishing my body and mind) have felt so out of reach.
I'd been registered to attend Camp HEAL with Project HEAL for as long as I've been back from treatment, and the weekend was finally upon us. As much as I willed myself to be excited to touch down in Los Angeles and take a weekend unplugged, I wasn't feeling it. I left therapy on Thursday and my therapist told me simply, "I hope this weekend shifts something for you."
Hi, I'm Charlotte! I'm a 24 year old navigating life in NYC and mental health recovery. I am passionate about public health and eliminating stigma.